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EPISODE 99

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome with Mikey Sivert

overcoming imposter syndrome

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

I have to tell you, when it comes to growing my business, one of the most impactful things that I have done is work on improving my own mindset. And that is maybe a funny thing to say because it’s not something super easy to quantify. 

You can’t look at the data on a spreadsheet and see how things have changed. But I promise you when I started focusing on managing my own mindset and putting into place some of the strategies that Mikey Sivert and I talk about in today’s episode, I saw a change.

I saw such a change in the way I treat my business, the risks I’m willing to take, the way that I branch out and try new things, and all of that boils down to things that end up fueling my business and helping me to grow. 

02:22 How Mikey’s passion for helping others with overcoming imposter syndrome began

05:21 The importance of mindset in the overall success of our businesses as entrepreneurs

11:23 – Defining imposter syndrome and signs you might see in your own lives

13:36 – How failure is one of the best tools to defeat imposter syndrome

17:56 – Strategies and techniques to help people overcome their imposter syndrome

Our Guest On This Episode:

overcoming imposter syndrome Mikey Sivert is a coffee-fueled, cupcake-loving imposter syndrome and entrepreneurial mindset coach for TPT Sellers. As someone who has dealt with imposter syndrome since opening his store, Mikey D Teach & SELebration Learning, he is an expert in all things inner saboteur. When he’s not Mindset Coaching or TPTing, Mikey moonlights as a virtual assistant for TPT Sellers. In his other life, Mikey is a 5th Grade teacher in Ohio. He has been teaching Upper Elementary grades for 18 years. His passion revolves around Social-Emotional Learning, and he works to make SEL accessible to teachers. He creates lesson plans and resources for the upper elementary classroom that have a trauma-informed lens. Mikey lives in Cleveland, Ohio, with his 6-year-old dog, Callahan. He’s an avid reader and wine connoisseur.

You can follow Mikey on his Instagram or learn about the Mindset Masters Membership.

Kristen 0:00
Hey y’all and welcome to today’s episode. I’m your host, Kristen Doyle. And I am so excited that you’ve joined me today for a very special episode that has been a long time coming. Today we are diving into entrepreneurial mindset, and specifically impostor syndrome with my friend Mikey Sivert.

Kristen 0:21
I have to tell you, when it comes to growing my business, one of the most impactful things that I have done is work on improving my own mindset. And that is maybe a funny thing to say, because it’s not something super easy to quantify. You can’t look at the data on a spreadsheet and see how things have changed. But I promise you when I started focusing on managing my own mindset, and putting into place some of the strategies that Mikey and I are going to talk about in today’s episode, I saw such a change in the way I treat my business, the risks I’m willing to take, the way that I branch out and try new things. And all of that boils down to things that end up fueling my business and helping me to grow. So I’m so excited for you to listen to our conversation all about managing your mindset and kicking your imposter to the curb.

Kristen 1:27
Hey, TPT sellers ready to see growth in your business, you’re in the right place. Welcome to The Savvy Teacher Seller. I’m Kristen Doyle. And I’m here to give you no fluff tools and strategies that will really make an impact on your sales. Let’s get started y’all.

Kristen 1:48
Hey, Mikey, thank you so much for being here.

Mikey Sivert 1:51
Hey, thanks so much for having me love being here.

Kristen 1:53
I’ve been so excited to have you on the podcast. I’ve been planning it for, I was just telling you before we hopped on, almost a year now. And it just hasn’t fit in to the content calendar until now. So I’m so excited to record this episode about something that really is just such an important topic for us. And that is mindset, and specifically impostor syndrome. So maybe tell us a little bit about how you got into mindset coaching a little bit. And what’s made you so passionate about this?

Mikey Sivert 2:22
Yeah, so I, well, it kind of all started from going to therapy, to be totally honest. And in therapy I was talking about, I didn’t actually start with like business stuff, obviously. But then I developed kind of relationship with my therapist. And we started talking randomly before a session. And I told her about my business. And I told her I was really struggling with some of like the decision making and not feeling like I belonged. And she literally like looked at me and she was like I’m turning on the clock right now because this is something that I can help you with. That’s where it kind of spiraled from was her kind of helping me with…she identified what it was. I didn’t even know it was called impostor syndrome at the time.

Mikey Sivert 2:59
So while she identified that told me what it was, we started talking more about it. And then as I started kind of developing my skills around that, and in relation to my business and seeing things improving with my business, I was like I can actually start coaching people on this, because I’ve done so much work myself with it. And I see the benefits of it. And I always joke with people like you can’t necessarily see the metrics of the improvements that you’re making when you’re doing something like mindset, but it you can see it in my business. And so because of that, and because I’m so passionate just about mental health and mindset and all of that together, I thought this would be something perfect that I can coach other people on. Because it is it’s such a pervasive problem. And if we don’t address it, it can really derail us in our business.

Kristen 3:47
Yeah, I have been surprised the more we talk about mindset issues and impostor syndrome, and all of the things how many people deal with it. Because before we were talking about it kind of as as a group of people, I was struggling with impostor syndrome. Big time. It I still do. But I didn’t realize that this is something almost every entrepreneur struggles with.

Mikey Sivert 4:13
Yeah, when I spoke in TPT, Boston, actually, I surveyed people beforehand. And I was surprised you, like you said, w here 95% of the people I surveyed said in the past year, they’d experienced it. And, you know, it’s one of those things that like, I’m not glad that we all experienced this together. But it’s nice to know that you’re not alone and that a lot of people experience this. And so just I think that group, kind of camaraderie with it is one of the keys I think in helping address it because it’s not this taboo thing that you have to be scared of, or like, oh, I can’t tell people I have this like a lot of us do. So I think it’s important to say like, we have it, a lot of us have it and you know, how do we move forward with it?

Kristen 4:53
Yeah, it’s so important just to bring things like this into the light, give them space in a voice so that people don’t feel alone. And, you know, maybe they didn’t realize what they were struggling with. Or, you know, felt ashamed, like they shouldn’t be struggling with this or whatever it is and just bringing it to the light so that it’s something that we are talking about can be so powerful in helping everybody overcome, you know, these mindset issues that we struggle with so much.

Mikey Sivert 5:20
Absolutely, yeah.

Kristen 5:21
So you kind of hinted a little bit a minute ago, but how important really is mindset in the overall success of our businesses as entrepreneurs?

Mikey Sivert 5:31
I mean, I personally think that it is one of the biggest drivers of our business success. Because if you have issues with your mindset, where that mindset is getting in the way of you really doing any of your tasks, so whether that’s creating products, emailing, making ads, whatever you’re doing, that you need to do for your business, if your mindset is blocking you, you’re either not able to do it, or, and you know, you’ve we’ve all been here, you’re what you do produce a subpar and you’re like, I don’t even want to send that out. So, you know, I think there’s the literal issue of time. If my mindset is getting in the way of me finishing things, or I’m putting out subpar things into into my business for my people, then am I really even working that hard on my business in a way that’s going to move the needle forward?

Mikey Sivert 6:18
So I think that it’s a really important piece of the puzzle, because it can derail you in such quick ways, if you’re not taking care of it. And I think with myself, and even some of my clients that I work with, I think that one of the things I’ve seen happen the most is people will try to push through all of this mindset stuff. And they’ll be like, Well, I don’t really have an issue with it, or I don’t have time to address it, because I need to get this and this and this and this, which, of course we all have these huge to do lists. I mean, my Clickup right now is, so many things I gotta get through, right. But you know, they’re just they’re always there. But if you keep pushing, pushing, pushing, eventually you hit a point where your brain is just like I’m done, and you get burnout, and you kind of fry yourself. And so you really have to be mindful of the mindset, and then take steps to you know, sometimes you just literally have to take a break.

Mikey Sivert 7:07
And I know that that’s so hard, it’s so hard for me to, you know, like I said, with that you have that whole list of things you got to get done. But if you don’t take those breaks, if you don’t schedule in, you know, even like set end times to your day. You can burn yourself out to a point where you can’t even do those things on your to do list. So I think oftentimes taking the break, stopping for a second, prioritizing your self care and your health, can then amp you back up to do your to do list and really kind of kick things into motion a little bit more clearly the next time you’re ready to work.

Kristen 7:39
Yeah, I tend to sometimes, I’m sure I’m not the only one, I tend to push the mindset stuff away, and try to shove it in some corner in the back of my mind and ignore it. But like you said, that just it just builds up. It’s like the old analogy of sweeping the dirt under the rug, and it just piles up bigger and bigger and bigger until you can’t walk through your living room anymore. It just builds up and like you said, it leads right to burnout.

Kristen 8:06
I actually did an Instagram poll on my Instagram Stories yesterday, asking people if they had dealt with burnout. And 85% said either they’re going through it right now, or they have gone through it and are kind of on the other side now. Only 15% said they’ve never dealt with burnout in their business. And I just thought that was so telling. And I wasn’t even thinking about the fact that we were recording this today, I was asking for a whole different reason. But mindset plays into that burnout so much.

Mikey Sivert 8:34
It really does. And, you know, like we’ve said, If you burn yourself out, you can’t get any of that stuff time. And if you try to do stuff at a subpar so you really have to, you know, latch on to it. It’s funny that you said that about kind of like sweeping the dirt under the rug, one of the analogies that I use with my members is remember when you were a kid, well, it was it was for me, probably not for you, Kristen, because you’re so organized, but I used to like I used to like throw stuff in my closet. And just like my mom’s had to clean my room, I would just throw it in my closet and just these big piles. And then eventually it like all came flying back out. And so I use that analogy because you can hide it for a little bit and you can you can shove it away, you can sweep it under the rug, but eventually it is going to come back at you.

Mikey Sivert 9:15
And you know it’s it’s not even your mind’s a little bit different than the closet I think because your mind is so powerful that it’s not like what you put in doesn’t come right back out. It gets magnified because you just collects it in a different way. And so you really have to prioritize that that self care. One of the thing that I actually do for myself, and I’ve started telling my clients this or suggesting is, actually schedule in time into my schedule to I call it self care, but I’ll do something like I’ll take a guided meditation for 10 minutes. Or I’ll go take a walk with Cal, who’s my dog in case you don’t know who Cal is. But I like I have to schedule it and sometimes because I can also get stuck in that that rabbit hole of like I’m so focused on what I’m doing that I can get fried without even realizing it sometimes. So I think even sometimes scheduling it is helpful too. If that’s something that works for you. Some people do not like to have it scheduled. And I totally get that. But you know, something that you could consider implementing into your day.

Kristen 10:15
I actually had that happen just this week. I was sitting down trying to do something that right now I can tell you is something I kind of like doing most of the time. It’s usually a task I don’t mind at all. But I sat down on Monday, and I was trying to get this done. And it just felt so hard. And nothing was coming to me. And I was feeling all those impostor syndrome things. And I said something to my husband. And he said, Why don’t you just stop for a minute? Why don’t you just take a break? And I did, I took a break, I walked outside, I just, yeah, I just didn’t. And I actually came back to my computer. And I worked on totally different things for the rest of the day, because my mind just really wasn’t there. And now I’m going to pick up on that task when we get done recording this because I’m in a better place. I’m ready to work on kind of a big task, but one that typically I enjoy. So yeah, just listening to our brains and doing the things that feel good when they do and taking the breaks that we need.

Mikey Sivert 11:14
Absolutely, yeah, those are so super important in addressing your mental health and your mindset. You got to take those breaks you got to breathe with with what’s going on.

Kristen 11:23
So just in case we have anybody listening who’s maybe not so familiar with impostor syndrome, can you tell us just a little bit about what that is? And what maybe some signs are that people might see in their own lives if they are experiencing impostor syndrome?

Mikey Sivert 11:38
Absolutely. So imposter syndrome in general, is just the idea or the sense that you’re not good enough at something. You’re not good enough for something. A lot of the times, well, I guess this could also be signs. But sometimes people will say, well, that’s just luck. Like, I just, it just was lucky that that product took off. And it’s not luck. Like it’s it took off, because you’re a creative person, you knew what you were doing. You planned all this out, you advertise it the right way you told your audience, like all these little things are signs that you’re not an imposter, you know what you’re doing. But it’s that sense of feeling like, I’m just lucky at stuff.

Mikey Sivert 12:18
Or you can sometimes feel like, well, I don’t deserve this, or someone else is already doing this better than I am. And why would I even go try to do that? But it’s that idea that you know, you’re not good enough, or what you’re putting out there isn’t good enough. But you’re so good at what you’re doing. I mean, you have a business that’s successful, right? Like, you’re, you’re doing it, it’s not luck. It’s because you’re working hard. It’s because you know what you’re doing. And I think one of the things that people often forget is in your business, you’re going to fail. You’re going to make mistakes, but you’re not the failure, you just something didn’t work the way you wanted it to. And you as a business owner, we teach this to our kids to as teachers, you teach this, I mean, it’s just something that’s part of our our life, too. Like, you have to learn from your mistakes, you have to learn from those things that didn’t work. That’s what creates success.

Mikey Sivert 13:09
You know, I can’t think of any business off the top of my head and I there probably isn’t one that’s never failed, right? Like every business, every person, every fill in the blank really, has failed at some point. And they’re better because of it. But impostor syndrome can be that feeling of like, well, I failed. So I’m a failure. It’s just it’s that’s not true. But it’s something that easily our brain catches on to and it will say to ourselves, oh, I am a failure. But you’re not the failure.

Kristen 13:36
Yeah. Let’s talk about failure. Yeah. Let’s talk about failure. You said it’s one of the best tools for defeating impostor syndrome.

Mikey Sivert 13:45
It is.

Kristen 13:46
You want to talk about why?

Mikey Sivert 13:48
Yes, absolutely. So I always kind of started off as a joke. But the more that I thought about it, I was like, No, this actually like, is a real thing. I think. And I truly believe this, that the more that you fail in your business, the better you’re actually doing, because you’re trying different things, right. If somebody’s not feeling a lot in their business, or they don’t have a lot of mistakes or errors, they’re probably just kind of coasting and just kind of doing the status quo. Which for some things is great. Like, once you find something that works, obviously, unless you have a reason, you don’t need to like go change it. So sometimes that status quo is great.

Mikey Sivert 14:19
But other times when you’re trying to implement different things, when you’re changing your ad copy, when you’re changing how you send your emails, or the times that you’re sending them any little thing that you change, it’s not always going to work out. I wish it would. Would not be amazing if it did? But, it doesn’t always work.

Kristen 14:35
Everything we did was gold.

Mikey Sivert 14:37
Right? Just be perfect. And so you really have to learn from those mistakes and learn from those errors. I use the word failure in a positive sense. And I use the word failed in a negative sense. So if I failed, that’s past tense, right? I failed. I didn’t do anything about it. I just kind of let it sit there. I didn’t learn from it. To me that’s failed. Failure is kind of that failing forward kind of mindset where you’re taking something that you did something that happened, something that didn’t go right, and you’re analyzing it.

Mikey Sivert 15:06
And something that I teach my members, and something that I use everyday in my business, is I call it the ERIC method. And it’s an acronym that stands for expected, respected, inspected, and corrected. So when you make a mistake, you do those four things. You expect them to happen, first of all, because, again, when you’re implementing new things, when you’re experimenting, when you’re doing iterations of things, that’s going to happen, right? You respect them, they’re not bad things, you learn from mistakes. That’s how we’re built as humans. That’s how our businesses are built. You inspect them. So how can I learn from this? How can I fix it? What’s a different iteration I can do have that experiment that I tried, and then you correct them when you can. And I think you can almost always correct mistakes or go in a different route than what you were trying. So I think that that’s the power of failure.

Mikey Sivert 15:52
If you let it go, then yeah, it is, it doesn’t really help you. But if you look at it, and you take in what you can, and then you send the rest away. That’s so powerful. And I also think one of the big things with failure you have to remember to do because some of us, I’m included in this by the way, some of us can do this to ourselves, is you hover on the mistake for way too long. So you have to inspect it and respect it, right? You have to take it in, but you can’t let it sit there forever. You have to like, send it off and be like, Thank you, you helped me, I’m making this change. And I’m letting it go. Because if you sit there and fester on it again, your imposter loves when you fester on stuff, because then it’S just like you’re feeding the beast. And so you gotta let that mistake go after you analyze it.

Kristen 16:35
One big mindset shift that I got in some coaching program a long time ago. And it wasn’t even a mindset coaching program. But we were just all talking business. And like we said earlier, we all struggle with this. So it came up. The coach was saying that she gave us like a mindset reframe for failure. And she said, “We don’t fail. We either win, or we learn.” If it’s not a win, then what did we learn? What can we learn from this? And what can I do different next time? And that’s been so helpful for me to just to, ‘Okay, this didn’t go like I wanted it to? What did I learn? How can I do this better?’

Mikey Sivert 17:14
Yep, I love that. Yeah, that that whole mindset of just, you know, things are gonna happen, right? And you can sit there and fester on them. But if it’s if it’s not helping you, you gotta let it go. And you can’t sit on it too long. Yeah.

Kristen 17:26
Yep. And if we’re taking risks in our business, which we should be if we want to grow.

Mikey Sivert 17:32
Absolutely.

Kristen 17:32
There are going to be risks that win, and there are going to be risks where we learned. It’s just part of owning a business.

Mikey Sivert 17:41
And even just I mean, in science, right? We know that mistakes are great. Our brain grows more when we make mistakes versus when we do things, right. So even if you need that science mindset part of it, too, like that’s how your brain learns. So it’s okay to make those mistakes and learn from them.

Kristen 17:56
Yeah. So tell us about some of the other strategies and maybe some techniques that you use to help people overcome their imposter syndrome.

Mikey Sivert 18:04
Yeah, so our imposter…and if you haven’t met me before, I refer to my imposter as a person. So my pastor’s name is Doug. And I can explain why later. But it’s one of my favorite things.

Kristen 18:19
You actually talked about this on a podcast, I want to say last fall with my friend Laura. Imposter syndrome came up, and I was telling her all about Doug.

Mikey Sivert 18:25
He’s a jerk. But anyways. But one of those things that your imposter likes to do is it wants to create these narratives in your head that are wrong. And it likes when you kind of catch on to those narratives that are incorrect or that are fictional. And so one of the things that I like to do with my clients is I’ll have them create, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy, it can if you want, but doesn’t have to be fancy, I just have them create a simple T chart. We label one side fiction and one side facts. You can label it differently, whatever words work for you. But essentially what I have them do and I do this myself, too, is I write down, what is the fictional thought that came into my head. So it could be something like I send an email, the open rate was like, 20%, “you suck at writing emails.” Well, I might write that down, if that’s what came in my head. And then I’m going to negate it with the fact. “Well, no, I don’t I have grown a lot. I’ve taken this course. And I look at my open rates, my click rates to try to figure out what works, what doesn’t, I’m using, you know, really good subject titles, this particular email didn’t hit right. And that’s okay. Something in there was a little bit off or wonky or who knows, maybe just the email gods are mad at me that day.” But I have to then negate that.

Mikey Sivert 19:39
And I think this is part of one of the things that I would suggest that you all do if you have impostor syndrome, is you have to actively negate. And so this is this strategy of using that fact versus fiction is actively saying to yourself, “No, that’s not true. Even though my imposter is telling me that I suck at email. I don’t. This particular email didn’t work.”

Mikey Sivert 20:00
And so when I start to kind of go back and forth with fiction and fact, you can tell your imposter. Like, that’s not correct. You are saying this to me. But that’s not what actually happened. And you can use that in all aspects of your business, I think in addressing those little micro things that come into your head. I think sometimes that can really sound overwhelming to say like, “Well, every negative thing that comes in my head, I have to write down?” You don’t always have to write it down. But the more that you actively negate it by either saying it to yourself or writing it down or whatever, the less loud your imposter becomes. It’s a practice. It’s one of those things you just kind of keep doing, but it really does quiet down your imposter, the more that you do it.

Mikey Sivert 20:44
It’s almost like, when a kid’s whining and you don’t give in, eventually they’re gonna stop. It might take a while. Right. But eventually they’ll stop. So will your imposter because your imposter will get so annoyed with you being like, Nope, no, this isn’t right. No, eventually it will. It’ll quiet down.

Kristen 20:59
So give up like that kid that you told no. Right? Yeah, I don’t write it down. Maybe I should try that. But I have definitely noticed since I started actively thinking through the fact the opposite of whatever my imposter syndrome thought was, it really does make such a big difference.

Mikey Sivert 21:20
It does. It does. And it is a math teacher. Like I like that data. I need that data to be like, No, you know, this one email. Yes, the open rate was 20%. But look at the past five emails. They’re all over 40%. So yeah.

Kristen 21:31
Looking at the whole picture, and not just this one little moment where yes, yeah, maybe that email failed. Okay. It’s just one email.

Mikey Sivert 21:40
What can you learn from it?

Kristen 21:42
Tell us a little bit about Doug. Because I think that is such a good mindset shift and thought process of whatever, in terms of imposter syndrome. And I know, I did talk about a little bit in an episode a while back, but you will explain it so much better than I did. So tell us about Doug a little bit.

Mikey Sivert 21:58
Okay. So here’s kind of where Doug came from. I’ll start with this. So when I was in therapy, and I was talking about this imposter syndrome, I kept saying, “I keep saying this to myself, I keep saying this to myself.” And my therapist said, “No, you’re not saying this to yourself, that imposter syndrome is a voice.” And so she actually had me name him. So every time I hear this voice, and now call him Doug. And I’m sorry if you know someone named Doug. I’ve had a couple of bad experiences with Dougs. So that’s where the name came from.

Kristen 22:27
I’m sure there are very nice Dougs out there.

Mikey Sivert 22:29
I’m sure there are, yes. I just haven’t met them. And I have a picture of him. Like I found that almost like that ideal customer avatar, I found a picture of him. And that way I could separate, in my head, what I’m saying to myself versus what my imposter saying. Because they are two totally different people. And that was such, like you said that big mindset shift, was so important, because I didn’t want to tell myself to stop saying stuff to myself, because that almost felt mean to me.

Kristen 22:58
Because you did nothing wrong.

Mikey Sivert 22:59
Right. Right. Yeah, but I can tell my imposter. “Hey, stop talking to me. Stop saying that. That’s not right.” I can be a little bit more forceful, and shut my imposter down. So when I was able to separate those two things, it really kind of helped me, you know, take those lots of were coming into my head that weren’t mine, they are from another voice, and you can differentiate between the two. And it was just such a helpful tool to have. It has some other things too, that are just funny. And, you know, it is funny, to every once in a while be like, “Doug, stop it. Shut up.” But, you know, that’s just so helpful.

Mikey Sivert 23:43
That’s one of the first things that I asked people to do. And again, I never make any of my clients do anything, but it’s one of the first things that I suggest is name your imposter, or at least identify that it’s not your voice, it is another voice that you can tell to quiet down.

Kristen 23:57
It is so helpful. And I ever since you said that the first time I find myself all the time telling whoever. And I’m not going to because I know some very nice people with the same name might be listening to this. And they are not who I’m thinking of, I promise. But I have also had some very bad experiences with people with this name most of them. Anyway, just being able to say, “You know what? No, you be quiet. That’s not true. You be quiet.”

Mikey Sivert 24:27
Yeah. It’s so much easier to tell somebody else to stop than to tell yourself to stop.

Kristen 24:31
Yeah, it is. So we’ve been talking a lot about ways to deal with impostor syndrome. Do you think it ever really goes away completely.

Mikey Sivert 24:39
So unfortunately, it doesn’t. But I don’t want to stop there because that could really like kill people’s dreams of maybe crushing this. But I kind of liken it to almost like a something that lasts all your life. So maybe like it’s an underlying health condition or something. But it’s always going to kind of be there. If you take steps to proactively mitigate it and quiet it down, it’s not going to be there quite as loud. I would say I have effectively gotten my imposter syndrome to the point where it really only pops up if I’m trying something totally new.

Mikey Sivert 25:11
So for example, I just started a podcast eight weeks ago. And that was, you know, I was like, I don’t know if I can do this. But it was just because it was new to me. And as I was able to practice with it, and you know, kind of talk to my imposter and be like, “Hold on, this is brand new for me. So of course, it’s not going to be perfect the first couple of times I do this.” Still not perfect if we’re being totally honest. But like, that’s okay, because I’m not looking for perfect. I’m looking for progress. I’m looking for something that my members can listen to really easily. And it’s just a quick like, kind of in and out thing. So I think that you can really help quiet it down, you can help mitigate the effects of it. But it’s really difficult sometimes. Or it’s I think it’s impossible actually to say that your imposter is ever going to completely go away. But that’s okay. Because it’s not going to impact you at the levels that it does now, if you think it’s impacting you now. It really can take a huge backseat. And even when it does pop up, with me and with people that I know, it is so much easier to be like, “Stop, I don’t even want you here today.” And it just quiet right back down. It’s so much easier to rein it back in now that you know what it is, and you know what it sounds like. It’s so much easier to rein it back in.

Kristen 26:25
Yeah, it’s that that feeling of like, okay, I know what this is. I know why it’s happening. And I know how to make it stop.

Mikey Sivert 26:32
Right, exactly.

Kristen 26:33
And the progress for me, the progress I’ve made over the last couple years with impostor syndrome and just mindset things in general, when things do start to pop up, and I realized I’m handling it better than I used to, I’m so proud of that progress.

Mikey Sivert 26:49
Absolutely.

Kristen 26:50
Seeing progress is just so motivating.

Mikey Sivert 26:52
Yeah. And that’s a huge part of it is paying attention to the things that you are doing differently. Because again, your impostor loves anything negative. And so when you can turn it positive, and be like, Look at all these things that I’m doing now. And I you know, like you said, when you’re able to notice, like, well, a year ago, I would have done this, when this thought popped up. Now I’m doing this. Yeah, be proud of that. That’s awesome. I’m so I’m so proud of you for catching that. And for knowing that, like, that’s a huge part of the mindset shift too is you got to praise yourself and be proud of yourself, just like you do other people.

Mikey Sivert 27:23
I mean, the reason that we do that for other people is because we know that it makes them feel better. It does the same thing for us to. Our brain really does take what we say as like it’s, I wouldn’t say it’s another person talking to us, but it really does listen to what you say to yourself. And so if you’re saying negative things, it will it will believe those negative things. Where if you start saying positive things, even if you don’t fully believe them, yet, it will start to believe them. And so you just gotta keep saying I mean, you got to keep talking to yourself, just like you would talk to somebody else. And I love the analogy, I didn’t come up with it obviously, but if you wouldn’t say it to your friend, to your husband, to your wife to your kids, then don’t say it to yourself. And sometimes your imposter wants you to and that’s kind of the magic of this is when you realize what your imposter trying to get you to say versus what you want to say, you’ll start saying things more positively to yourself. And so you have to be just as positive with yourself as you are with other people.

Kristen 28:16
And we have a tendency to be so I mean to ourselves.

Mikey Sivert 28:19
We do.

Kristen 28:19
In ways that we never would to someone else. I love that.

Kristen 28:23
I actually did a workshop one time with somebody around mindset. And they made us at the very beginning of the workshop write down 50 accomplishments that we were proud of in our lives. Whether they were business or personal. And let me just tell you, 50 is a big number.

Mikey Sivert 28:40
Yeah it is.

Kristen 28:41
I knocked out like 10 or 12 pretty fast. And then I started thinking like, I don’t know, I don’t know if I have any more accomplishments. And there’s the imposter.

Mikey Sivert 28:49
Right, exactly.

Kristen 28:50
But that exercise of really pushing myself to come up with all 50. And let’s be honest, some of them by the time I got to 45, some of them were very small accomplishments. But it just helps me really think through what all have I done that I am proud of? What am I doing well. And it’s a list that I still have. And sometimes I go back to it when I’m having a rough day and not feeling so great about the things that maybe I haven’t accomplished that I want to do. I can look back at that and go, “You know what? I’ve done a lot of things that I’m really proud of.”

Mikey Sivert 29:25
Yeah, that’s awesome. I love that idea of writing it down and just like saving it because you can always go back when you’re having that bad day, pull that thing back up or pull that email or whatever makes you smile, pull it back up. And it is such a good reminder of like, oh, this is why I’m doing what I’m doing. And this is why I’m so good at this stuff. Because sometimes you do need a reminder from somebody else. And it doesn’t always have to be from somebody else. It can be from your past self, which is super helpful.

Kristen 29:49
Sometimes I think those reminders from our past are even more helpful than hearing it from someone else. Because it’s so easy to hear someone else say how amazing we are and think, “Oh, you don’t really know. You don’t know, deep down, all the details.” But when we look at the things that we’ve done in our past, we know all the details. So we can look back and go, okay, yeah, I am doing better than maybe I feel like I am today.

Mikey Sivert 30:12
Absolutely. And yeah, that’s so powerful to, again, that positive talk with yourself. Sometimes you do need those reminders. Because I mean, we know what we did in our past, that’s great. But it’s hard to recall those all the time, especially when you’re feeling down on yourself. It can be difficult to think about those things. And so if you have those written reminders, I love that idea.

Mikey Sivert 30:33
You said something that kind of registered with me, I think it’s important to also remember that some of your accomplishments, some of the things that you can be proud of some of your successes can be micro and macro. Especially if you’re having a really difficult day getting stuff done. Like let’s say, you’re writing an ad copy for Facebook. Each little thing that you do that day is a micro accomplishment. So like, did you write your ad copy? That’s an accomplishment. Did you make your ad images? That’s an accomplishment. So all those little micro things, I think, you know, obviously, the big macro things like hitting milestones on TPT, or whatever that milestone might be, those are huge, too. But even those little micro ones, your brain registers micro and macro accomplishments the same. So if you pay attention to those micro ones, those are just as powerful as the macro. The macro might make you feel better, just in general, because they’re huge things. They’re huge accomplishments, like they are really, really important. But those micro ones are also super important to pay attention to as well. Especially if you’re having a difficult time getting stuff done, or whatever the case may be. Any accomplishment is important to kind of latch on to.

Kristen 31:41
It is. This for I love a good checklist so much. Going in my Clickup and marking something as completed, just feels like such an accomplishment, even if it was the smallest little task.

Mikey Sivert 31:51
It really is it is and that’s that I mean, that’s your dopamine for sure. You get that little dopamine hit by clicking that little thing. It’s, I mean, it’s science, but it’s true. And it works.

Kristen 32:01
I have 100% added things to either a written to do list or to my Clickup just so I could cross them off because they were already done.

Mikey Sivert 32:12
There is no shame in that. I love that.

Kristen 32:16
It works.

Mikey Sivert 32:17
It does. Yeah.

Kristen 32:18
What advice would you give to people who are struggling with imposter syndrome with other negative mindsets, but they’re not really sure where to start to get help.

Mikey Sivert 32:27
I think the first thing that I would recommend is that you sit down with yourself and start to keep track of your thoughts. Whether they are positive or negative, you think they’re your imposter that you think they’re from yourself, keep track of what’s coming into your head. And sometimes that can be very daunting, I know, but come from a place of no judgement with what’s coming into your head, it’s a little easier to do. But you can start kind of paying attention to what’s coming inside of your head.

Mikey Sivert 32:57
Sometimes just paying attention to what you’re hearing is important for starting to negate that. Starting to address your imposter. And then you know, if you’ve started doing that you started thinking about all these different things that are coming into your head, you started even trying to negate them, and you’re still struggling with what you could do with mindset, I think at that point, sometimes I think it’s appropriate to reach out to a professional. That can be a therapist or counselor, you know, sometimes you do need to reach out and ask for more help. But I think that there are tools that you can look at, and there are practices that you can do. I think really anything that has to do with self care, with just understanding how you’re thinking about things, is super important.

Kristen 33:40
Yeah, such good advice. And there are so many resources available too.

Mikey Sivert 33:45
There really are, yeah.

Kristen 33:47
To help us learn strategies and start putting those things into place. And it like you said, it really does start with paying attention to those negative thoughts that creep in. Instead of trying to brush them off, or wallowing in how they make you feel, just paying attention to those negative thoughts, so that you can then come up with that positive thought to replace them with.

Mikey Sivert 34:10
And I also think this sometimes is a little bit awkward to do, so maybe find a time when you’re alone, but your brain also registers you saying things out loud a little different than you saying things to yourself in your head. So if you have negative thoughts come into your head and you’re like, they’re not really changing. If you’re saying them to yourself, like if you’re negating them in your head, try singing them out loud, because sometimes saying them out loud is so much more powerful. You can even whisper it, but like if you can find a time where you’re by yourself, or maybe hopefully you have a caring family, or whoever you live with it would like get it, but just find time where you can literally talk it out loud. Because your brain understands that differently than you’re just talking to yourself in your head. It’s not crazy. I think more people talk to themselves than people will admit, but I think most of us, if not all of us, do it. So that’s another thing you can do if you don’t see a ton of movement, you can always try that.

Kristen 35:04
Yeah, it definitely works for me. Because when I’m talking to myself in my head, a lot of times I start down a spiral. Even if I start with the positive, you know, the thing that is going to negate this negative thought I’ve had, I somehow managed to go down the spiral of negativity anyway. And when I’m saying it out loud, I catch myself doing that, and I stop it a lot easier than when it’s in my head.

Mikey Sivert 35:30
Yeah, absolutely.

Kristen 35:31
Well, thank you so much for all of these tips. I do want you to tell us a little bit about some resources that you have to help us overcome our mindset. You have a membership that I just joined this morning. I’m really excited I have, you know, what you do you see an email or you talk to someone and you know about their membership, and you think I’m gonna join that. And then you just, you know, because life is busy. So this morning, I was like, I am going to join this membership, I’ve been meaning to.

Mikey Sivert 35:59
Well, that’s a nice surprise, because I didn’t even see that yet.

Kristen 36:02
I’m excited to dive in.

Mikey Sivert 36:04
Oh, we’re excited to have you. So welcome to the M Cubedf family, I could tell you. So the the membership is called the Mindset Masters Membership. I lovingly refer to my members as the M cubed family, because it’s three M’s. And we are a collective of people who are just here to support each other through impostor syndrome and mindset issues. And I do that by delivering five daily email. So every weekday, everyone gets an email with a quote, or an affirmation or something that can kind of encourage them along with a little story or just some words of wisdom from me. Sometimes I like to include words of wisdom from other people, or researchers, or famous people who have impostor syndrome. Just a lot of different ways to kind of get you inspired.

Mikey Sivert 36:48
And then we also have a weekly private podcast that I put out that talks about anything from mindset to failure to impostor syndrome, to you name it. If it’s mental health, or mindset related, we’ll talk about it. And then we have monthly zooms, where we kind of do a deep dive into something specific that either I think is beneficial, or I love kind of catering to my members. So if my members are kind of telling me like, Hey, I would really love some information on fill in the blank, we’ll do something like that. And then there’s always resources that I put in there so little, either worksheets, or think journals, or, you know, those little facts versus fiction templates that people can download if they want on something really easy. But just a bunch of different resources that people can use to work on their mental health.

Mikey Sivert 37:31
And then honestly, the group is people who are like minded, who all have impostor syndrome, who are all working actively to fix it. And so it’s a super caring community of people who are just there ready to help. And so I love what it’s kind of become, and I love, you know, it’s become my passion, really, to help people with impostor syndrome, because I’ve seen the changes in my own business. And I want to be able to help people see those changes in their business and also in their lives. Because it can be something that can really get in your way, across all aspects of your life if you let it. So it’s just something that I’m really loving, and the membership is just great.

Kristen 38:10
I was so excited when I saw that you were going to do a membership for this because it is just it’s such an important topic. And like you said, it bleeds over into all parts of our lives.

Mikey Sivert 38:20
It really does.

Kristen 38:22
And I will drop a link in the show notes for the membership if people want to check that out. And join that. But tell everybody where they can find you and connect with you.

Mikey Sivert 38:33
So you can follow me right now on Instagram @centeredteachersellars. And then my website is coming. So we’ll say that. But for right now Instagram is the main place where you can find me. And then Kristen also has my email address. So you can also email me there too.

Kristen 38:50
We will drop all of those links in the show notes so they’re really easy to find. Thank you again so much for being here and having this conversation. It has been just so good to talk through. And I know I’m walking away with some new ideas for beating my imposter. And I’m sure if I use this too.

Mikey Sivert 39:09
Well thank you so much. It was a pleasure to be here. And yeah, I love talking about this. I’m glad I could help.

Kristen 39:13
All right friends. That wraps up our conversation about impostor syndrome and mindset. I hope you are walking away with some really good strategies to manage your own impostor syndrome. And just a feeling that you are not alone in feeling this way. Remember, most entrepreneurs experienced some sort of mindset issues or impostor syndrome along the way. So like I said, you are absolutely not alone. And there are so many good strategies out there to help you overcome impostor syndrome and keep moving forward in your business.

Kristen 39:46
Definitely check out the resources that Mikey has available on his website and social media as well as in his membership. I have to tell you, I’ve been in his membership for about a week now, I’m recording this ending of our conversation a little bit late, and I am just loving getting the daily emails and check ins with just some mindset things to start my day the right way. And I know you’ll love it too. So definitely check that out at the links that you’ll find in the show notes.

Kristen 40:17
And if you have gotten something out of this episode, share it with another friend who struggles with impostor syndrome. Chances are, you know lots of people going through it. So take a minute to screenshot the episode and send it to a friend or share it on your Instagram stories. When you do, tag @Kristendoyle.co and @centeredteachersellers. Talk to you soon friends.

Kristen 40:43
I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. If you did, please share it with another teacher seller who would also find it helpful. For more resources on growing tour TPT business, head to Kristindoyle.co/TPT. Talk to you soon.

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